Hayloft Golfing Times

25 April 2010

Stoke Albany! where the hell is Stoke Albany? you ask every year.  Well its in the middle of nowhere that’s where and the antique road signs don’t help.

All I can say is I’m glad the sun was shining on a glorious spring day instead of the dead of night because I’m sure Ive seen the place in a Hammer House of Horror Film.

At first it was thought this was the reason for the rock sand and ash all over the greens until Ian young got a call from the Icelandic minister for the interior apologising for the volcanic ash everywhere.  In fact the green keepers had simply seeded and sanded the greens. Not uncommon at this time of year but a pain in the butt to most golfers.

It was also clear that the GC was a victim of the current credit crunch with most of the buildings, including the bar, being turned into a conference centre.  

This meant that instead of the Full breakfast promised when we booked we got a bacon cob, knocked up by the owner in his kitchen at home and shipped in.  It is also true to say that had we brought the full party of 24 they would not have had the facilities to cope.

What about the golf itself? Well the first hole as usual caught many people out with an early trip into the trees to the shout of “reload” from the assembled crowd.  For myself this meant ferreting about in a bush for a bit before recording my first blob of the day.  A mistake that my KO opponent, Russ Wood, capitalised on with a ’Spaniard’.  The 4-for-4 was soon followed by an amazing 4-for-5 on the fifth hole.  This helped him on his way to handing out a 33 to   

29 defeat to send me crashing out of the KO bowl.

Similar battles were taking place all over the course with five KO ties being played on the day.  In the end Russ Wood, Steve Maisey, Ian young and Mick Moore and Alan Brown won through to join Carl Gregory and Steve Jones in the Quarter finals.  This left only the highest scoring looser place to fill and that went to Tom Henshaw, with a score of 33 on the day.

In the league Steve Jones eked out a slender 1 point lead over Alan Brown with a win on the day as well as a beast of a drive.  Sexual frustration giving him the superhuman strength to make the shot, apparently.

On the day 2nd place went to Rich Benniston, who put in the round of his life.  3rd taken by Mick Moore.  His boy friend Tom Henshaw took nearest the pin.

Billie Blue hat was awarded to Tom Lowton but later transferred to Rob Jones once the cards had been checked.

The highest score of the day, 41, was recorded by a guest, John Halford.  This earned him a nice bottle of wine.